fragile

OK kid so here is the deal….
a little over a week ago you started vomiting; your mother and i weren’t too concerned because it wasn’t a constant thing, once every few feeding you would vomit everything back up. but then… it became something more. after a few days it got to a point where you would throw up everything you were fed.
we got scared…
we made an appointment for you to see your doctor… she told us we shouldn’t worry, it was probably just reflux and it would go away.
it didn’t go away.
so yesterday we took you to the emergency room.
Dr. Swaverly looked after you. she has sort of been a family doctor… it seems like any time your mother sister or i have to go to the E.R. we are seen by Dr. Swaverly.
it didn’t take long for the doctor to make a diagnosis, she feared that you had pyloric stenosis and she scheduled an ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis.
today we brought you to Greenville hospital and had the diagnosis confirmed…
now… let me tell you what pyloric stenosis is
your stomach has a muscle that connects it to your small intestine, and that muscle has become narrow… so the doctor has to go in and split the muscles.
everyone i have spoken to has said that this is a simple surgery… the surgeon that is doing it does about one a day. they say not to worry.
we are still worried.
as soon as we got to the hospital the nurses came to give you an iv and drain whatever fluid you had in your stomach…. this took almost an hour.
apparently you don’t have defined veins….
because of that i would not suggest heroin.
they had to stick you about 7 times in various places on your arms and legs… until finally the nurse supervisor came in and gave you an iv in your head.
they literally put a rubber-band around your skull and then found a vein.
are you curious about what you look like?
that thing on your head... thats an iv
i can honestly say that sitting through that was the hardest thing i have ever done… knowing that you were in pain, you didn’t understand why, and i could do absolutely nothing about it.
since then all you have really done is cry. you haven’t eaten in almost 24 hours… and we cant feed you. you cry because you are hungry… and we cant do anything about it… eventually you tire yourself out and fall asleep for a little while.
you are crying again… so I’m going to go try and calm you.
your surgery is set for 9am tomorrow…. good luck little guy.

God lives in my closet, he protects my data

the past few weeks have been kind of stressful.
due to the weather and unemployment rate in the city there hasn’t been much work for my company to do… which means a little more downtime than i am used to.
its ok though, we can afford for me to take a little off time.
i have been finding little projects to keep me busy, and ensure that i don’t become permanently attached to my computer chair.
in the past few weeks i have:
#1 Restocked and organized the tool shed
#2 Replaced all broken tools
#3 Reorganized the attic
#4 Setup and installed the mobile dyno in the eclipse… with a mounting bracket.
#5 Setup a wireless N+ network with 2 desktops 2 laptops and one JesusPod.
#6 Setup a fully featured file server (appropriately named God) with a stand alone firewall and VoIP server.
#7 replaced the vacuum modulator in the comet… cleaned the card and fuel system. fixed the braked and fuel tank.
# 8 I also learned how to bake Italian twist bread!!!!
# 9 I have also been working on an Image Gallery
and on and on and on.
One good thing about having this time off is that i have finally been able to adjust to, and get used to being a dad.
i can finally say that i enjoy every minute of it…
My mother took Jason and Melissa to have pictures taken a few weeks back, and we have finally gotten them all back.

i can honestly say the past few weeks have been educational and relaxing… but if work keeps going like this we may end up in a bit of trouble.

The sound i love the most.

dear kid,
your grandmother has been here for the past two weeks, and it seems like she picked you up the moment she stepped through the door and didn’t put you down until she left.
i guess you got used to the attention because every time i put you down today you began to cry.
eventually i decided that the two of us should sit down and watch a movie…
so you watched your very first movie with your dad.
Saw 6
then… just as the movie was about to end… you had another first.
you began to giggle…
in fact… at the end of the movie… every time someone screamed you would giggle.
i was so proud.
the sounds of pain and anguish make you giddy… you truly are your fathers son.
your grandmother and i were rummaging through the attic a few days ago and found some shirts that i wore when i was 2 or 3… i imagine you will inherit some of these… because vintage t’s rock…
check them out.
Alf Shirt Dracula Shirt Superman Gloves Spiderman Shirt Super Shit!
We also thought you might like to use my old crib… apparently my grandmother got so excited when she found out i was going to be born that she had a crib hand made for me… i didnt even know it existed until today, but your grandmother found it at my great aunts house and decided to bring it home… here it is:
Crib

the problem with doing things legally…

I am a horror movie junkie.
my whole family knows this. my parents had to put up with me watching movie after movie in my room growing up. Can you imagine how they felt when company came over, only to be greeted by the horrifying screams of young campers coming from my room. the sounds of chainsaws and breaking bones… blood squirting everywhere… i would imagine our guests felt a little uneasy…
i havent had a chance to watch the new Friday the 13th movie… so you can image the excitment i felt when i unwrapped a copy of Friday the 13th killer cut this christmas.
the DVD came with a downloadable Digital copy, which i thought was cool because i could put it on the hard drive in my car and not have to carry the movie around with me.
so i followed the instructions to download the digital copy…
#1 Go to www.wbdigitalcopy.com/fridaythe13th
#2 When prompted enter the authorization code below.
C2XMTTK63V92
#3 Follow the instructions to download your movie.
once i got to the site my dreams of a legal digital copy were crushed… i was greeted by this message

AN EXPIRATION DATE?!?! Why the fuck would a digital copy offer expire?
i did some digging and found out that the digital copy offer expired on Sept 10th 2009. this information wasnt on the DVD case… it was buried in the fine print of the Digital Copy insert.
whats more is the DVD wasnt released until June 10th 2009… which means the Digital Copy offer was only valid for 3 months!
Why do movie companies fuck everything up? Warner Brothers have hyped up the Digital Copy as a way to fight piracy… they say that if given the option customers will choose the legal download over a pirated download… and that is true… if the legal download is available.
i contacted WBDC customer support to voice my concerns…
the rep said:
rep: im sorry sir that offer has expired, unfortunatly there is no way for you to get a digital copy now.
Me: Wanna bet?

The Truth

Dear Kid,
Congratulations, you are now four days old.
let me tell you how you came into this world.
on Dec 5th at about 9pm your mother started having contractions… they were around 5 minutes apart… and didn’t hurt very badly, so she decided to sleep them off and see how things were the next morning. you weren’t due until Dec. 26th so we weren’t worried to much… we figured she was having braxton hicks contractions, and that everything would have stopped by the morning…
they didn’t.
so on the morning of the 6th we headed to the hospital.
after the doctors checked your mother out they decided that it would be better for her to labor at home for awhile… so they sent us away with some pain meds and told us to come back if things got worst.
well… things eventually got worst.
about 9pm we headed back to the hospital.
your mothers contractions were happening so fast, it seemed that a new one would start before the last was over.
the doctors gave your mother an epidural and told her to get a little rest… they said that you wouldn’t be coming until early the next morning… they said that they would be back around 2 to check her cervix and see how much longer it would be.
the nurse came back at 12:30, check your mother, found out she was at 9cm and her water had broke.
you were coming sooner than we thought.
i ran outside to make all of the phone calls… my mother and father, melissas mother, i sent text messages to all of my friends, then i ran back up to the room.
by the time i got back there were people everywhere… everyone was set up and your mother was already pushing.
ten minutes later you were born.
curious what happened when you were born?
well here you go.
This link shows some inline content in a FancyBox window

after that the nurses took you to clean you up. i went outside and had a cigarette and sent a text to all my friends.
the text said:
“ITS ALIVE!!! jason dean ward 5lb 10oz”
it was about 1:30am when i got back into the room… and since your mother and i had been up for two days straight we both promptly went to sleep.
i spent the next day taking pictures and running errands. between the doctors and running around i didn’t really get to spend much time with you.
4:00pm
that’s when the call came in.
*several paragraphs have been removed… see protected post*
i didnt get back to the hospital until 11:00pm.
well… i just went to sleep.
the next day was a blur… running errands, and keeping your mom happy was my number one concern. the doctors were worried that you weren’t eating enough, in three days you lost 5oz… so they decided to keep you in the hospital an extra day.
the morning that they sent you home, we packed you in the car and turned on a beatles album…
the first song you ever heard was ‘here comes the sun’
we rode around for awhile showing you off to some of the people i grew up with.
first you saw Mrs. Hill, she was a lady that lived next door to my grandparents for 30 years or so.
then you saw my grandfather.

you and papa
you and papa

i asked him what he thought of you and he said “he looks strong and healthy… which is good because soon hes going to have to find a job.”
the man has a strange sense of humor.
when we left my grandfather melissa got a call from her mother… apparently her sister had found lice on baileys head and they needed me to drive back to rock hill to pick her up.
*several paragraphs have been removed… see protected post*
this pretty much wraps us your first few days on earth…
*several paragraphs have been removed… see protected post*

The Mystery Of The Pagan Origin Of Christmas

Why is Christmas celebrated on December 25th?  Most people assume that it has always been a Christian holiday and that it is a celebration of the birth of Jesus.  But it turns out that Jesus was not born on December 25th.  However, a whole bunch of pagan gods were born on that day.  In fact, pagans celebrated a festival involving a heroic supernatural figure that visits an evergreen tree and leaves gifts on December 25th long before Jesus was ever born.  From its early Babylonian roots, the celebration of the birth or “rebirth” of the sun god on December 25th came to be celebrated under various names all over the ancient world.  You see, the winter solstice occurs a few days before December 25th each year. The winter solstice is the day of the year when daylight is the shortest. In ancient times, December 25th was the day each year when the day started to become noticeably longer.  Thus it was fitting for the early pagans to designate December 25th as the date of the birth or the “rebirth” of the sun.
The truth is that thousands of years before there was a “Santa Claus”, there was another supernatural figure who would supposedly visit a tree and leave gifts every December 25th.
His name was Nimrod.
The celebration of December 25th goes all the way back to ancient Babylon.
According to ancient Babylonian tradition, Semiramis (who eventually became known as the goddess Astarte/Asherah/Ashtoreth/Isis/Ishtar/Easter in other pagan religions) claimed that after the untimely death of her son/husband Nimrod (yes she was married to her own son), a full grown evergreen tree sprang up overnight from a dead tree stump. Semiramis claimed that Nimrod would visit that evergreen tree and leave gifts each year on the anniversary of his birth, which just happened to be on December 25th.
This is the true origin of the Christmas tree.
On Bibletools.org, Mike Ford describes this ancient pagan tradition about Nimrod this way….
—-
After Nimrod’s death (c. 2167 BC), Semiramis promoted the belief that he was a god. She claimed that she saw a full-grown evergreen tree spring out of the roots of a dead tree stump, symbolizing the springing forth of new life for Nimrod. On the anniversary of his birth, she said, Nimrod would visit the evergreen tree and leave gifts under it.
—-
On that same site, John Plunkett described the ancient pagan myth regarding December 25th in this manner….
—-
From many ancient writings, considerable is learned of this man, who started the great organized worldly apostasy from God that has dominated this world until now. Nimrod was so evil, it is said he married his own mother, whose name was Semiramis. After Nimrod’s untimely death, his so-called mother-wife, Semiramis, propagated the evil doctrine of the survival of Nimrod as a spirit being. She claimed a full-grown evergreen tree sprang overnight from a dead tree stump, which symbolized the springing forth unto new life of the dead Nimrod. On each anniversary of his birth, she claimed, Nimrod would visit the evergreen tree and leave gifts upon it. December 25th was the birthday of Nimrod. This is the real origin of the Christmas tree.
—-
From this original fable peddled by Semiramis (the “Queen of Heaven”) came the tradition for pagans to go out to the holy “groves” and leave gifts for Nimrod (who later came to be worshipped as “Baal”) at an evergreen tree.
Does that sound like a “Christian” holiday to you?
In fact, in his classic work “The Two Babylons”, Alexander Hislop describes the Babylonian origins of Christmas on page 93….
“Long before the fourth century, and long before the Christian era itself, a festival was celebrated among the heathen, at that precise time of the year, in honor of the birth of the son of the Babylonian queen of heaven. It may fairly be presumed that, in order to conciliate the heathen, and to swell the number of the nominal adherents of Christianity, the Roman Church, giving it only the name of Christ adopted the same festival. This tendency on the part of Christians to meet Paganism halfway was very early developed; and we find Tertullian, even in his day, about the year 230, bitterly lamenting the inconsistency of the disciples of Christ in this respect, and contrasting it with the strict fidelity of the Pagans to their own superstition.”
In fact, the name “Yule” is the Babylonian word for “infant” or “little child” as Hislop describes on pages 93 and 94 of his book….
“That Christmas was originally a Pagan festival is beyond all doubt. The time of the year, and the ceremonies, with which it is still celebrated, prove its origin. In Egypt, the son of Isis, the Egyptian title for the queen of heaven, was born at this very time, ‘about the time of the winter solstice.’ The very name by which Christmas is popularly known among us — Yule-day — proves at once its pagan and Babylonian origin. ‘Yule’ is the Chaldee name for an ‘infant’ or ‘little child’; and as the 25th of December was called by our Pagan Anglo-Saxon ancestors, ‘Yule-day,’ or the ‘Child’s-day,’ and the night that preceded it, ‘Mother-night,’ long before they came in contact with Christianity, that sufficiently proves its real character. Far and wide, in the realms of Paganism, was this birthday observed.”
So when you offer “yuletide” greetings, you are actually acknowledging Nimrod’s birthday.
The truth is that the pagan holiday of “Yule” has been celebrated by the pagans of northern Europe from late December through early January for centuries and centuries. Yule logs were traditionally lit throughout northern Europe to honor the pagan god Thor. The festival would continue until the Yule log burned out – which could take up to twelve days. This is where we get the so-called “12 days of Christmas”.
In fact, Wiccans, neo-pagans and even many witches still celebrate Yule to this day. Many of them think it is incredibly funny when Christians use the pagan word Yule. Yule is one of the most important holidays for them.  The following excerpt was taken from a website on witchcraft:
—–
Birthday of the Twins:
Kemetic (ancient Egyptian) holy day. Birthday of the Twins, Heru Sa Aset and Bast, children of Aset [Isis]. Origin of Yule and Christmas. On Winter Solstice Asar [Osiris] dies. Aset [Isis] with the magick help of Nebt Het [Nephthys] creates a Djed Pillar [artificial penis] for Her husband and impregnates Herself. For three full days (December 22-24) Asar lies dead and the Twins grow in Aset’s belly. On this day (December 25th) the Twins are born, the reincarnation or resurrection of Their Father. The green tree is a symbol of the green-skinned Asar, God of fertility and vegetation. The colored lights are symbols of Aset, Goddess of magick and divine light. Red, green, and white are the traditional candle colors of Bast (this was Her birthday alone for several thousand years of early Kemetic history), later being adapted to red for Aset (the color of the Mother’s menstrual flow), green for Asar (the color of vegetation), and white for the Twins (the color of pure light).
—–
So where did Christmas come from?
Well, the truth is that the word “Christmas” is not actually found anywhere in the entire Bible.
In fact, the word “Christmas” was not even invented until about a thousand years after Jesus left this earth.
The Catholic Encyclopedia even admits this….
“The word for Christmas in late Old English is Cristes Maesse, the Mass of Christ, first found in 1038.”
But Jesus was not even born on December 25th.
The reality is that it would have simply been far too cold for shepherds to be out with their sheep at night in Israel on December 25th.
The vast majority of Christian scholars now acknowledge this.
So when was Jesus actually born?
Based on the information we have in the Scriptures, it appears that it is most likely that Jesus was born in the fall.  In particular, it seems most likely that Jesus was actually born during the Feast of Tabernacles as the video posted below demonstrates….
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So how did December 25th come to be celebrated by Christians?
Well, by the time the Roman Empire legalized Christianity in the 4th century, most of the other religions in the empire were celebrating the birth of their gods on December 25th.
Leading up to December 25th in ancient Rome, a festival known as Saturnalia was one of the biggest celebrations of the year.  Saturnalia was a festival during which the Romans commemorated the dedication of the temple of their god Saturn. This holiday began on the 17th of December and it would last for an entire week until the 23rd of December.
Saturnalia was typically characterized by gift-giving, feasting, singing and lots and lots of debauchery.  The priests of Saturn would carry wreaths of evergreen boughs in procession throughout the pagan Roman temples.
Later on, the Romans also started holding a festival on December 25th called Dies Natalis Solis Invicti, which means “the birthday of the unconquered sun.”  Basically it was a way for the empire to consolidate all of the December 25th “sun god” birthdays throughout the empire into one holiday.
In the year 350 A.D., Pope Julius I declared that the birth of Jesus would be celebrated on December 25th from then on. There appears to be little doubt that Pope Julius was trying to make it as painless as possible for pagan Romans to convert to Catholicism.
However, the new holiday did not really take off with Christians at first.  The widespread celebration of December 25th by Christians did not really get going until 378.  It was apparently then dropped in 381 and then resurrected in 400.
But the truth is that December 25th was celebrated as the birthday of scores of pagan gods long before it was ever associated with Jesus.
As we discussed earlier, the celebration of December 25th goes all the way back to Nimrod (who eventually came to be worshipped as Baal).
Baal worship spread throughout the known world and provided the basis for all other pagan religions.  The following are just some of the pagan gods that had “birthdays” on December 25th….
Mithras
Horus
Attis
Dionysus the son of Zeus
Tammuz
Hercules
Perseus
Helios
Bacchus
Apollo
Jupiter
Sol Invictus – (The “Unconquered Sun”)
When the Roman Catholics decided to make December 25th a “Christian holiday” in the fourth century, they simply adopted a long standing pagan holiday and kept most of the same pagan traditions.
For example, the ancient Babylonian “Christmas tree” became known as a symbol of fertility throughout the ancient world.  The pole, balls, and tinsel (phallus, testes, semen) represented various aspects of male fertility, while wreaths were always fashioned in a circle to represent female fertility.
In “The Two Babylons”, Hislop describes some of the ancient traditions surrounding the Christmas tree on page 97….
“The Christmas tree, now so common among us, was equally common in Pagan Rome and Pagan Egypt. In Egypt that tree was the palm-tree; in Rome it was the fir; the palm tree denoting the Pagan messiah, as Baal-Tamar, the fir referring to him as Baal-Berith. The mother of Adonis, the sun-god and great mediatorial divinity, was mystically said to have been changed into a tree, and when in that state to have brought forth her divine son. If the mother was a tree, the son must have been recognized as the ‘Man the branch.’ And this entirely accounts for the putting of the Yule Log into the fire on Christmas Eve, and the appearance of the Christmas tree the next morning.”
That sure puts a different spin on Christmas traditions, now doesn’t it?
Most Christians don’t even realize that God warned us about such things in the Bible.
In Jeremiah 10:1-4, God warns us against putting up these decorated trees like the pagans were doing….
Hear what the LORD says to you, O house of Israel. This is what the LORD says: “Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the sky, though the nations are terrified by them. For the customs of the peoples are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel. They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter.”
The Puritans understood this.  It comes as a surprise to most Americans to learn that the Puritans once banned Christmas trees in many areas of the United States because they were considered so pagan.
According to ancient Babylonian tradition, the springtime fertility festival of Ishtar (Easter) was a time when the “Queen of Heaven” was believed to become impregnated.  Nine months later the sun god would be “born” or “reborn”.
To the ancient Babylonians, these holiday trees came to be worshipped as the “Queen of Heaven”, and gifts were brought to the “groves” of trees that had been grown in her honor and placed beneath them as offerings.
The Babylonians also used wreaths to represent the nativity of the sun, since they were objects that depicted the “womb” of the Earth mother.
Early Christians completely rejected these traditions.  In the 3rd century, Tertullian wrote the following about these pagan celebrations….
“On your day of gladness, we [Christians] neither cover our doorposts with wreaths, nor intrude upon the day with lamps.  At the call of public festivity, you consider it a proper thing to decorate your house like some new brothel. We are accused of a lower sacrilege because
we do not celebrate along with you the holidays …”
The truth is that the celebration of December 25th and most of the accompanying traditions have always been pagan.
But many Christians will protest and say that it is okay for them to celebrate December 25th because to them it is all about Jesus.
That was the same excuse that Aaron used when he and most of the rest of the people of Israel worshipped the golden calf while Moses was up on the mountain getting the Law of God.  Aaron actually said that the worship of the golden calf was being done to the Lord as we read in  Exodus 32:5….
When Aaron saw this, he built an altar in front of the calf and announced, “Tomorrow there will be a festival to the LORD.”
But we know how that turned out.
God was not pleased.
At all.
In fact, He was furious.
In the same way, God is not pleased when we celebrate pagan holidays and keep traditions that have been pagan for thousands of years.
For even more on the pagan origins of Christmas, check out the following YouTube video….

taken from Unexplained Mysteries of the World